Justifications, Idealisms

The great barrier of entry to blogging, the enormous threshold of narcissism that seems shameful to overcome, makes the practice seem impossible.

 

But I think that people don’t blog enough. Blogging forces you to collect your thoughts and, in some way, publish them, even if they are in the most unorganized way possible. Generally, though, the more organization the better, because, even apart from this writing’s utility for others, this magnifies the greatest utility, which is for the writer. When writing, as when reading, we tend to construct logic (this is why poetry and art can be so difficult to create), and blogging forces a commitment to ideas. Without this forced commitment, the worst kind of logical inconsistencies and prevarications can persist. A prime example is the structure of disavowal, which is also the structure of irony, which is also the structure of racism and sexism and most of the popular oppressive isms in our postmodern epoch. In disavowal (the foundational case being the discovery and then denial of the lack of the female phallus in Freud) we split, we persist in believing one thing even when presented with evidence to the contrary. Zizek explains this as “I know my mother doesn’t have a penis, but…” and “I know Jews are just like us, but…” When commitment is made, when these contradictions are forced to cohabitate in the same time and place, a collision is forced. Most often, of course, the disavowal survives, but the only way that it can be killed is through the forced juxtaposition of self-constructed thought.

Here, self-criticism can begin, and in a public forum like a blog, others can help too, as they should, because their lived experience and active studies allow them to see many things to which you are blind. So blogging, or a comparative practice, is necessary. You can change your stance, and prevaricate quite a bit, when conversing in different circles, but the blog forces a reproduction of the interior life of the mind, exposing its processes in their ugliness.  Even a journal forces you to look at that ugliness in all its incarnate monstrosity. Obviously, with a journal the only judge is oneself, and other perspectives aren’t brought in, but the spirit can be the same.

 

I’m no expert on Marxism, but I do believe that everyone has something to add, and when you throw in lived experience just about everyone is fascinating. I also believe that knowledge and realizations are fleeting, and ephemeral, and if you don’t pin them down you will lose much of their value forever. I want to collect the knowledges and realizations from life and reading in the hope of bettering myself more permanently. Company changes, old habits return. Reactionary sentiments like sexism are always awaiting undiligence. A constant like this blog can keep me honest.

I will try to construct this as an ideal space, the way I wish the world were. I believe very much in the power of language, and I hope to decolonize this space as a gateway to the decolonization of the mind. As such, there will be a lot of linguistic tropes here that I hope will jar the diegesis that is enveloping our society, enfolding us into the narratives of power that fix man, woman, homosexual, heterosexual, public, private, and of course right and wrong. The intermediary goal, of course, is to queer the dominant culture, and language is a starting point here. To mirror the obsolescence of binaries like the ones cited above, my goal is to queer gender pronouns, and even then to use them infrequently: they will appear as _HIM_, or _HER_. I will fail often, of course, but I want to strive for a kind of purity. Tell me when language I use is regressive in form, structure, or implication.

 

This of course makes this entire endeavor seem altogether severe and unhumorous, which I highly doubt that it will be. This will become obvious soon.

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